Italy was amazing. The greatest place in Europe. Milan's shopping was superb. I brought bout 350 Euro worth of stuff. i came home wearing Versace shirt, Versace jeans, Gucci sunglasses and Gucci Envy spray. Quite a variety that is.  Anyway, im still climatising here back in UK so im probs not gonna post many weblogs. Also ive got Personal statement to do and quite frankly i cant really be arsed. Im too busy tracking down Zhou Bin Laden, who btw has left the country and is currently in Shanghai. Apparently his grandfather's pet hamster (in Shanghai) died due to Carbon Monoxide poisoning. This was quite suspicious considering that Zhou had personally gone to the local shanghai market and brought some carbon monoxide. Of course, Shanghai shopkeeper couldn't catch him due to the fact that they were distracted by an object which blocked out the sun's light. Later they found out it was Zhou's gigantic head.

Agent B signin' off...

I have just come back from a two day excursion to the Oxford University Agency. It's in Oxford if you haven't worked that out allready. It was Sheetal. Some of the colleges were Chen. Zhou Bin Laden was nowhere to be seen but rumours suggest that he is in Cornwall sexually abusing many Ashwin's. The university colleges were not very Xiang 'cept Trinity. I did take some pics but they r being edited as i write this sentence. The lectures were crap except one medicine one because the lecturer was very good, he was an Omar. I got some solid Burhan that Oxford University is a very good uni for medicine even though its tough work. Goin to sleep now.

You mite b wondering about my word usage above. They are in a code. If u no the irrelevant words stand for, uthen ull no what i mean. I do not mean any offence to Ashwin or Chen, nor any praise for Omar. No offence also for my usage of the words Sheetal and Xiang. No comment is required on the word Burhan as it is the greatest word in the world.

Agent B signin' off...

Another school day comes to a close. It was quite a good day actually. Especially Dr K's double chemistry. The best bit was when he started talking bout resolution of the NMR and i quote:

"If you twist the knob, u get better resolution" "Twist the knob further, and u form triplets and quartets" "Twisting the knob makes things happen"

It was shockingly disgusting and vile but hilariously funny as well.

Last lesson with Dr Cowling this year . So good.

Prince Mirza (working with me to crack down Zhou Bin Laden's terrorist oragnisation) has found some alarming news. The Mughal Prince has discovered that Zhou Bin Laden has a new partner. The person's sex is yet to be comfirmed but he/she is Indian and goes to stockport grammar school. I have made a list of the possible suspects, in order of most suspected to least likely:

1. Arul 'Stoic Bass Player' Murugan
2. Ashwin 'Apu/Mr Bean' Sachdeva
3. Sheetal 'Sheetzy' Dandgey
4. Sachin 'Hindu Boy' Popat
5. Jayati 'Cant b arsed with nick' Sareen
6. Sapna 'once agen cant b arsed with nick' Kapoor
7. Atina 'zhou is gay' Kapila
8. Karan 'where did zahmed go?' Jairath

If there are more Indians in our school, please inform me. Many other people have been rumoured to be funding the acts of Zhou Bin Laden:

1. Adolf 'Risen from the Dead' Hitler
2. Saddam 'Dr Nukem' Hussein
3. General P 'Kashmir will be Ours!' Musharaf
4. Atul Behari 'Motherfucker' Vajpayee
5. Ariel 'Biggest Walking Penis' Sharon
6. Mr John 'Cambridge Paedo' Allister

NB: Any opinions stated on my site are of my own and are not intended to insult or offend anyone (except for Jews and Americans).

Agent B signin' off...

Just got back from skool. It was crappy. Dr Cowling double! Further detail is self explanatory. Dr K single - just doing sumfin which took a while to understand - sumfin to do with protons and NMR or sumfin like that. Maths - general waste of time. And then the free at the end. A load of rubbish cuz it was too hot and common doesnt have AC. :@

Leeds Uni open day today and i wanted to go. If only i had found out earlier instead of today at 9.15 in the morning. But ill see it sum other time. Quite a few ppl were missing cuz of this open day. At first i thought that Zhou Bin Laden had raped them all and kidnapped them, but then i realised that sum males were missing as well. My mind then made a conclusion - Zhou Bin Laden is a homosexual. Of course, this was b4 i found out it was an open day.

Keeping on the subject of Zhou Bin Laden, the top secret case files have not yet been retrieved. Zhou's poodle who we managed to capture and interrogate and attach a homing device to, has suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth. It isnt showing up on the homing thingy. Main suspect now is Zhou's wife, who was seen pulling an infamous Physics teacher from Stockport Grammar School. This Physics teacher for special purposes will remain anonymous. We raided the teacher's apartment where we found the following things lying around:

1. A map of Cambridge
2. A paedofilic porn stash in the basement
3. Hairs (possibly from a beard) in the bathroom sink suggesting that this physics teacher is actually a metamorphisised version of Zhou
4. A life size poster of Ali G.
5. An extra extra extra small cricket box

I regret to inform you that Zhou Bin Laden's grandmother passed away a few days ago due to sexual fatigue.

Apart from that, nofin much to report. This is a more recent pic of Zhou Bin Laden:

Agent B signin' off...

Sports Day today. It was boring. There was nothing to do apart from watching the crappy events. Warren came last - what a surprise. Why did i have to be in Warren! :@

Sumfin which was quite alarming was when it looked as if it was gonna pour it down, i prayed to Allah to make it sunny, and blue skys at a specific point in the sky (i pointed to the sky). 30 mins later, the sun came pouring out, no rain, and that part of the sky at which i had pointed at became as blue as the...sky. It was amazing. Allah accepted my prayer in 30 mins, Subhana'Allah. Alhumdu'lillah. Allah-o-akbar.

Beside sports day, the rest of the day was just normal. Nofin unexpected and weird happened. No more miracles occured.

Yesterday was DIY, DIY, DIY and more DIY. I had to fix my desk and shit but it ended up pretty good. Amazing design - its connected to the window sill and falls down on hinges.

The Zhou Bin Laden case has taken a huge slice of unfortune. Topsecret files were mysteriously stolen from *** headquarters (the number of *'s doesnt tell u the number of letters in my secret agency). The following is a list of the main suspects:

1. Zhou's wife
2. George 'Wanker' Bush
3. Zahmed Bin Laden
4. The great Osama himself
5. Zhou's pet poodle (seen rolling around in its filth 5 miles from the headquarters)
6. Zhou's personal dildo
7. The Butler

Evidences are suggesting the poodle did it, but as tradition goes, its usually the butler. Butler of what? I have no fucking idea. Sum random butler (possibly Zhou's).

Neway, sum pics:

The Great One Himself

A look alike of Osama (similar to Bean also):

Fucking Americans:

This is a bridge in Malaysia, i think, where the reflection of the lights spell out Allah in arabic.

The great Sheikh Sudais (the person which i sound like when i recite the Quran according to my teacher). He is an Imam ul Haraam (leader of the prayer at the Great Mosque in Makkah).

Agent B signin' off...